How To Create Indestructible Habits
Remember back when you wanted to start that exercise program?
Maybe you wanted to learn Italian, or start eating more vegetables, or write a book.
You were so excited and determined when you began. “This time, I’m going to do it. This time I’m sticking to my guns, and I won’t quit no matter what.”
- Day one: you’re totally gung ho and ready to take on the world.
- Day two: still feeling great and announcing your success to everyone.
- Day three: not so excited but still determined.
- Day four (or seven, or ten): you don’t have time to do it today — but tomorrow for sure.
Tomorrow: Why did I start this habit? I just don’t have the time to do this anymore.
Yep, everyone does it. We start with a bang and end with a whimper.
We have great intentions to develop a new, positive habit. We know we want it. We know it’s good for us. We know we’re smart enough to make it happen. But somewhere between “Yes I can!” and “I’m quitting,” something breaks down.
Why We Don’t Stick With New Habits
It’s simply a lack of knowledge about what it takes to create new habits that stick. Creating new habits is more than just “willpowering” your way through it. You actually have to change your brain chemistry.
Your Brain on Habits
Neural pathways are like highways of nerve cells that transmit messages. The more you travel the highway, the more it becomes your automatic route.
Think about taking a hike in the woods on a trail that’s already been forged. The walk is easy and straightforward because the path is clear. But if you hike in the woods with no path, you have to create one from scratch, and that’s a lot harder. You’re conscious of every step, every new turn, and every obstacle. You can’t plow through the woods full steam ahead, or you’ll lose your way, trip over branches, and lose energy.
So what do you do? You plan ahead, you gather the right tools, you start slow, and you inch your way forward. That’s exactly what you do when you create new habits.
How to Create (and stick to!) Habits
Step 1: Plan ahead
Let’s say you want to start running. The temptation is to start out on day one running full steam ahead for thirty minutes straight. You end up sore and tired, and want to quit.
If you spend several days or a week planning out your strategy and the steps outlined below, you increase your odds of success exponentially.
Step 2: Start small
I’m talking really, really small. For the first week, practice your habit for no more than five minutes a day.
The purpose is to simply establish the routine with something so easy and fast you have no excuses or reason to quit. You can do anything for five minutes. If you’re habit is running, this means putting on your running clothes and shoes (two minutes), and running for three minutes. Then you slowly increase your time every week.
Step 3: Create a trigger
A trigger is a previously established habit that’s rock solid (like brushing your teeth) that you attach to your new habit. Your trigger reminds you it’s time to perform the habit. So if you’re trigger is getting dressed, and your habit is meditating, you’d meditate immediately after you get dressed. This helps reinforce the new habit in your brain, which begins to “view” the new habit as part of an old one.
Step 4: Establish a reward
A reward is yet another way to solidify your new habit. As soon as you complete your habit work, give yourself something you really enjoy. It could be a few minutes of reading, a piece of chocolate, or even putting a gold star on your calendar.
Step 5: Create accountability
The urge to quit is always lessened when we know someone else is paying attention to our actions. Tell people about your habit plans and report to them daily about your success or failure to follow through.
Step 6: Remain flexible
Having a plan for these situations will make it easier to stay on track. If you have to miss a day of your habit work, just begin again the next day. If you miss several days, go back to the five-minute timeframe to reestablish the routine.
The Takeaway
If you follow this formula of planning ahead, starting small, and creating a trigger, reward, and accountability, you will form a new habit in six to eight weeks (sometimes longer for more difficult habits). You can use this method to create as many habits as you wish, for as long as you wish. In fact, as your new habits get more solid over time, you can use them as triggers for other new habits. Learning these skills gives you the power to change your entire life, one small habit at a time
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